Dick Burns

Photo credit: CoyoteLynx Entertainment

LEGAL NAME: Dickery Burns

AKA: Dick Burns, Team DB, the Don

QUALIFICATIONS: 3 years select-GM experience, wise words consultant, large phallus, bona fide rock thrower 

ABOUT: What more is there to say about Dick Burns? World-class phallus, with a natural rock throwing instinct that could demolish a predator within a 20 metre radius. Dick is the ever-so-reasonably-late select-GM and is known for being wise, as well as appearing drunk when actually sober. He always throws other select-GMs for a twist with his unpredictable management style. But even though his management style is somewhat unorthodox, one would be surprised to learn that his grooming, especially in the pubic region, is well-groomed and sharp. So sharp that you could set your watch to it. 

PERSONAL QUOTE: "People think that being on time is my Achilles heel; they say I'm 'last minute' or 'in a rush'. But you know what? There are three types of people in this life; early, late and right on time. I'm the latter."