Next Question with African Lion Safari

The third instalment of Next Question features one of my favourite silver comrades, African Lion Safari.

"Can we please just drop the silver thing? God damn it!" roared Safari.

Safari has finished second in the last two Randy League seasons - a bridesmaid to Sitch, if you will. But this year feels rather different; Safari is putting up fantastic numbers - at a consistent rate, might I add - and 2014-2015 might finally be the year where he can hoist the crown (or wear the belt). I caught up with Safari earlier this month for some NQ&A.

Safari, salutations once again.

Well herroar to you, Commissioner Randy!

Thanks for that. How have you been?

Life's been good, Commissioner Randy. I can't really complain. I'm happily married, working full time... taking it day by day. I couldn't ask for much more, really.

And, you're currently atop the Tri-Hard! rankings.

(chuckles) Yes, that too. I must say I'm thrilled (and spooked) about that.

Spooked? How so?

You know my history better than anyone, Commissioner Randy. The "silver" moniker doesn't come about overnight. I've had many, many experiences (even before the Randy Leagues) back in my day where I would be a frontrunner to win a hockey pool, only to fall short in the final months. So yes, I'm spooked about that. I don't want history to repeat itself.

Where do you see yourself falling short, if at all? Your team looks pretty structured and stable.

Right now, yes. But blow-ups happen all the time. Earlier in the season I had some goalie luck with Kuemper, but that has since died down. Vancouver has arguably been one of the surprises of the season too, and I profited with Ryan Miller, but that could quickly change. I also have a number of other roster selections that have had great starts to the season, but the players haven't proven that this type of production can last all year. I think a dry spell could easily derail my dominance so far.

As one of the overseas select-GMs, do you feel removed from the League at all?

No, not at all Mr. Fucking Randy. I communicate regularly with Sitch and Burgs and this site keeps me updated with other things going on. I wish I could be closer, but life takes you in all sorts of twists and turns; you just gotta strap yourself in and feel the Gs!

Classic Homer "Max Power" Simpson.

Any plans to return to North American soil?

All the time. I do wish to return eventually. I'll actually be making my way to NY for a trip; I even got tickets to see Handsome Hank (a.k.a. the NYR) take on the Lightning. Takin' my ball'n'chain to see it too. Should be a grand time.

So Safari, any trade rumours going around? Seriously, don't hold back.

You know what? It's been rather quiet. I know I'm the one who usually is in the middle of trades, but this year it's been pretty still. Maybe it has to do with the fact that everyone is so close in the standings; no one really feels the drastic need to change things up. It's a testament to how skilled these select-GMs really are. The League has evolved so much in the last three years; the margin for error has been greatly diminished.

Do any of the select-GMs intimidate you?

I'm a fuckin lion, Morpheus Randy. Top of the food chain right here! So intimidation is not on my (bloody) plate. But I will say that with my keen eyes I scour the landscape closely, and there are threats everywhere. Obviously, Sitch is on my radar; he's crunching for a third title and is well in the mix for top contention. I actually sent him a message earlier this month asking why does he always have to be so damn good at fantasy hockey. But, every select-GM is a threat and I'm going to keep my head above water (which is a good thing, because felines hate H20). My armour is thick and my weapons are concealed.

Speaking of concealing things, rumour has it that you've run into some trouble with indecent exposure in the past.

Commissioner, if this is about my T-BAG ---

No, actually, it's not.

Then I don't know what you're talking about.

Sources said that your personal area was once exposed from your boxers.

... What?

You were very inebriated and passed out. You rolled over, which exposed your personal area, before your head bobbled into a garbage can.

Next question.

No comment at all?

Next Fucking Question, Mr. Fucking Randy!

Safari, far left.

I'm sure we'll revisit this again.

No, we definitely will not!

Maybe not today, but every rock shall be turned. Thanks for your time, Safari. And best of luck this year.

(cautious) Thank you, sir.