GM's Quarterly IV

As promised, I have assembled the last edition of GM's Quarterly for Tri-Hard! I debated what image to use for the title of this post, but then quickly eluded to Daniel Craig vis à vis Skyfall. This movie had been playing on the television when Dick Burns, Sitch and Burgundy met over the Easter break; it renewed the respect each had for a finely tailored suit and well shot film.

"The cinematography is just... perfection," said Dick Burns.

I must admit that I never got into the Bond films in my earlier years. I have never seen Sean Connery as James Bond, and I have never sat through an entire Bond film featuring Pierce Brosnan. It's always been Batman or nothing for Commissioner Randy. However, Skyfall was a pretty epic film, and I'm now itching to watch it again. (Randomly, I'm also itching to watch Jurassic Park. Such a classic.)

Given this Bond talk, I've decided to dish out the awards for this quarter with a Bond theme. So, let's pull the trigger on a few awards, shall we?

"Good pun!" said Dick Burns.

JAMES BOND OF THE QUARTER - BURGUNDY

(Honourable mention: Safari)

Eyes on the prize.

Productivity was on the decline in the last quarter of the season, but Burgundy came out on top. Big Burgs gets the James Bond award because he demonstrated extreme marksmanship; he was gunning for first overall and achieved it. He took home 906.90 fantasy points and averaged 3.35 PPGP for the quarter, both of which were tops in Tri-Hard!

Safari get's honourable mention in this category as he ended up with the second highest point accumulation (881.90) and PPGP (3.29) this quarter. His respectable point accumulation brought him within striking distance of Burgundy and Sitch.

"Balls!" said Safari. "Give me the damn James Bond award!"

Here are the numbers for the quarter for those who were curious:

RAOUL SILVA OF THE QUARTER - SITCH

(Honourable mention: the O-Train)

... I'm fucked.

Sitch finished the year second overall, which is nothing to be ashamed of by any means. However, given that he had such a lead (about 300 fantasy points at one point) and looked to be cruising, his (sky)fall from the top is all the more catastrophic. His plan seemed flawless this year, much like the cyber-terrorizing antics of Raoul in Skyfall, but Sitch couldn't close the deal.

To put in perspective, Sitch averaged 2.98 PPGP over the last quarter, marginally better than Tree Bone (2.97). He finished the year with a 3.48 PPGP, which just goes to show you how much he dominated the first three quarters.

"Ebbs and flows, bitch. Ebbs and flows," said Burgundy, pompously.

This proves that planning is important, but not as important as execution. Take notes, O-Train (or should I say, NO-Train?).

M OF THE QUARTER - BURGUNDY

(Honourable mention: N/A)

You all werk for me.

This is not really an official award, but Burgundy gets M of the quarter, purely because he is now Sitch's superior.

"FUCK!" screamed Sitch.

Q OF THE QUARTER - SAFARI

(Honourable mention: Sitch)

I'm pretty sure this is how Safari sets up his room when drafting.

Q is the character in Skyfall who is a wiz behind the computer and is able to code like mad. While I don't think Safari is the next Zuckerberg, I do think he plows through NHL data more than any other select-GM. That's why I'm giving him Q of the quarter. The results speak for themselves; he was the only select-GM to improve his PPGP this quarter, and did quite well in amassing fantasy points (second most, as I stated earlier).

I also think that he wears specs similar to Q.

Sitch gets honourable mention here, as I am well aware that he does his own line of data-analyzing. Though it did not pan out this year, his attention to data cannot be omitted.

"You bet, Commissioner," said Sitch. "I analyze all my calorie intake, creatine absorption, dopamine levels, sugar --- "

No, Sitch. Stop. I'm talking hockey only; no Bitch-It's-Sitch!™ stuff.

SÉVERINE OF THE QUARTER - DICK BURNS

(Honourable mention: N/A)

Want me?

Another award that doesn't really have meaning or merit, but I'm giving this award to Dick Burns. Séverine was all sex appeal in Skyfall, and Dick represents all things sexual in Tri-Hard! Ladies, grab a towel and wipe your seat off, because Dick Burns is on the prowl once again.

PATRICE OF THE QUARTER - TREE 

(Honourable mention: Dick Burns)

Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

Who the fuck was Patrice in Skyfall? Not many people remember, but he's the mercenary at the beginning of the movie who fought with Bond. He had a pretty epic role in the opening sequence, but soon gets forgotten as his role disappears and the rest of the cast takes over. In this light, Tree Bone gets the award, not because she fights with Burgundy, but because she has long been forgotten. She stormed out of the gates during WK1, and then fell apart.

"Have I been forgotten?' asked Tree Bone. "Or have I forgotten about Tri-Hard!?"

Hmmm... the latter seems plausible.

Well, that's it. The last GM's Quarterly of the year. Another chapter in the books; another gratifying, yet melancholy moment. Until next time, gentlemen and lady.

- the Fucking Randy