My Two Cents

Even though Burgundy has officially been crowned Champion in Randy's Tri-Hard!, he was still a bit peeved that Sitch, winner of Randy's Redemption and Randy's V, had his own blog post on this site. I told Burgundy that I obliged in this one instance because Sitch had repeatedly asked permission to post for years, and that I decided to give it to him as I felt he earned it since he was a back-to-back Randy League Champion.

Burgundy continued to press me on it, saying that he'd deliver something spectacular since he IS THE PRESS. Since I have very little to report on these days and will be wrapping up the blog soon, I'll let him have it.

So, ladies and gentlemen, here's My Two Cents - A Ron Burgundy Opinion Piece:

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Thank you, Commissioner Randy.

When I found out about Sitch's blog piece, I was extremely disappointed. Using a media outlet purely for the purposes of profiting from a private business venture is shameful, and I hope Sitch realizes that it only cheapens his product. ("Fuck you!" said Sitch.)

Now, being his superior (both in life and in the Randy Leagues) I will show him, as well as demonstrate to you, dear readers, how to use a prestigious media outlet in its proper fashion. No, I will not be telling you about my mahogany line of bookcases, my scotch collection or my endorsement of PromptApp...? Instead, I will cover a topic which I feel very strongly about; one which is hockey-related and very misunderstood in our game today. And here it is:

Gary Bettman is the MAN.

"I just love dem titties!"

Mr. Bettman is often the scapegoat for hockey fans who have a problem with the NHL. Some say he's anti-Canadian, a expansion/relocation skank and, very simply, unlikeable. Sure, he's been involved with many franchise restructures which have resulted in Canadian teams moving south of the border, but does he deserve all this bad press? He may look like a count, but let's actually take account of what he's done and what he's actually been responsible for since taking over the NHL.

"I endorse that pun," said Dick Burns.

"1, 2, 3 lockouts!"

When Mr. Bettman was appointed Commissioner in February of 1993, the San Jose Sharks, the Ottawa Senators and the Tampa Bay Lightning had just entered the League, and the Anaheim (Mighty) Ducks and Florida Panthers entered the next year. All five, either now or at one point in time, were budget teams, and several were on the cusp of bankruptcy. These expansion plans were already in place prior to Mr. Bettman's tenure; he therefore cannot be blamed for appointment of these franchises, though he is often criticized for it.

Now, some say that he's anti-Canadian. While some of his moves during his tenure appear to support this claim, he did play a major role in championing the Canadian Assistance Plan, a revenue sharing agreement that saw American teams give money to help support the smaller market Canadian teams (Calgary, Edmonton, Ottawa and Vancouver) in the 1990s through 2000s. Is he really anti-Canadian? My moustache says no, and so should yours.

"You like Canada?" asked Cherry.
"Sometimes!" replied Bettman.

The relocations of the Winnipeg Jets (1996-97 season) and the Quebec Nordiques (1995-96 season) also gives the typical Canadian hockey fan the perception that Big Bad Bettman is anti-Canadian. But, if you actually looked into the state of the economy in the nineties, you'd discover that the Canadian dollar was on a supreme decline relative to the US dollar, making it difficult for Canadian franchises to keep up with paying player salaries at parity with US franchises.

Is Mr. Bettman really at fault for the fall of the Canadian dollar?

If you were to fundamentally look at the financials of the Nordiques and the Jets during that time, their books were horrific. The depreciation of the Canadian dollar only worsened the situation. I don't care how many hockey fans filled those Canadian hockey arenas during this time; if the books aren't balanced, then the business is not feasible. Even today, the Ottawa Senators hardly break even; under Eugene Melnyk's watch, the Senators have lost approximately $10 million a year. Therefore, the perception that Mr. Bettman is anti-Canadian seems far fetched, considering the independent financial stresses these teams had (or have, in the case of the Ottawa Senators) were the primary reasons for their departures. It's not like Mr. Bettman woke up one day and said, "You know what? Fuck the Nordiques, and all you Quebec-necked fans. I'm moving them out." These were tough times for Canadian markets, and business was dry. The fact that he keeps some of these financially stressed franchises (i.e. the Ottawa Senators) afloat only shows that he does have Canadian teams in his plans.

And let's consider one more point about this whole anti-Canadian perception: Mr. Bettman was appointed by the owners (not the fans, I should emphasize) with the mandate of selling the game in the U.S. market. So, should we really be blaming him for U.S. expansion, or should we be pointing our fingers at the owners? Mr. Bettman has purely been executing on behalf of what the owners wished to have accomplished.

You can look at the Phoenix --- sorry, I mean Arizona Coyotes and Atlanta Thrashers as colossal failures on Mr. Bettman's part, and I would agree with you. But, again, I must digress and ask you, "Do you think it was really his intention, or was it a League-wide initiative?" He was not alone in this decision.

Maybe Damian Rhodes will have a similar tombstone.

Then of course, we must look at the lockouts which Mr. Bettman took part. Blame him all you want, but Mr. Bettman was sailing on uncharted waters in the first lockout (1994-95) and it ultimately paved the way to a salary-capped system. Losing a hockey season is never fun, but temporary pain for long term gain is always worth the effort, and I give Mr. Bettman credit for this. Look at the parity and product on the ice today; I firmly believe there is no such thing as a "one seed vs. eight seed" anymore; we now have 16 teams that have legitimate chances at winning. And, a salary-capped system has made most teams more profitable, meaning teams are bringing in more revenue, selling more tickets, gaining more fans and growing hockey. The NHL made $3.6 billion during the 2013-2014 season; the NBA, vastly more popular than hockey, earned $5 billion. Hockey is catching up, and Bettman has been in the driver's seat.

With this growth and turnaround success, you'd think that Mr. Bettman would take a handsome share of the profits, right? I'm not saying that his salary of $8.8 million is low, but it is far less than his counterparts in other leagues, both by number and by percentage of total revenue. For what he's accomplished, I'd say he's not overpaid by professional sports standards.

And finally, there are other media outlets, like myself, who see passed the cold appearance of Mr. Bettman. Mr. Bettman was named Sports Executive of the Year by SportsBusiness Journal and SportsBusiness Daily in 2014. In addition, the NHL was also named Sports League of the Year. Hockey has indeed grown in the US, despite a few franchise failures, and revenues have risen.

In summary, I fucking love Gary Bettman, and you should too. Have a look at this fine article from SportsNet. They got it right, just like Nickelback's new single.

You stay classy, Mr. Bettman.