WK25 - Resurrection

Does this even need a caption?

Welcome back, viewership-extraordinaire!

Mr. Fucking Randy sincerely hopes that each and every select-GM had a great Easter holiday. (At least for those who celebrate/were entitled to an extra few days off.) It's tough business working in the Randy Leagues; I know each and every one of you put your full 100% into this League (even you, Tree Bone!), so when the schedule gives you time off, you should take it and rest. I hope you all got some much needed down time.

What did I do? Well, family is of the most importance to Morpheus Randy, so I attended some family festivities, got a few good exercises in ("JEAH!" said Sitch) and cooked up a storm. I also had a very emotional up-and-down roller coaster experience with watching the Sens games; a courageous OT win over the Capitals, followed by a disappointing SO loss to the Leafs. God damn it, why must it be so damn hard?!

"That's what... meh, too easy," said Dick Burns.

With that being said, we are in the final week of competition. We've experienced a lot this year and I am sad to see another season coming to a close. These reports mean the world to me, and I hope they have entertained you as well. There will definitely be a final instalment of GM's Quarterly, and perhaps a few other colour pieces before I formally sign off.

But before I get all emotional and weepy, let's look at this week's visuals, courtesy of the stats machine:

Adds LeBrun: Can you say Resurrection?!

Adds McGuire: Yes! I can!

"Yes! I can!"

Adds LeBrun: It was a rhetorical question, but thanks McGuire. This week's theme is Resurrection, primarily because we're seeing a few select-GM's resurrecting their seasons. Sitch, who hasn't been atop the rankings in over a month now, has picked up the pace in the last few weeks and is now again right in the mix for top spot. He's less than 10 points behind Burgundy and has a handful of games in hand, though they are defensemen games. Safari, on the other hand (paw?), has been top bread earner for three consecutive weeks; he's about 120 points behind Burgundy, which is incredible considering that he was at one point more than 275 points behind Sitch (leader at the time). 

Adds McGuire: Well it's a product of team scouting, it's a product of player development and it's a product of his key players being key players. Ovechkin is just ridiculous; he picked up another 3 G and 2 A this week. For the season, Ovechkin has 400 fantasy points, about 80 more than next best Max Pacioretty. WHO DA THUNK IT?!

Adds LeBrun:... Thanks, Pierre.

Adds LeBrun: Well, no changes in the standings (again!) but the total points chart we saw previously tells the better story. We've got three select-GMs (Burgundy, Sitch and Safari) fighting for first overall.

Adds McGuire: I gotta put my bet on Burgundy winning this year. He's got that SC87 stick magic; no one is better with his shaft than Crosbone. He's just so poised, so patient and so strong...

Adds LeBrun: Need a tissue?

Adds McGuire: (breathing heavily) Yes, please.

Adds LeBrun: Not surprisingly, Safari was the week's most improved PPGP. He boosted his PPGP by 0.03 to 3.29. Sitch still leads overall with a 3.48, followed by Burgundy and Dick Burns, who each clock in at 3.41. Suffice to say, these last few games, especially for Burgundy and Sitch, will make or break the season.

Adds LeBrun: Even with lackluster goalie statistics, Burgundy is still able to lead inside Tri-Hard!, attributable to strong player performances. With an average of 3.27 PPGP from players, he's well ahead of the rest of the competition.

Adds McGuire: And we can see that hurting Sitch. For the first half of the season, Sitch was atop the rankings due to balanced goalie and player statistics. However, since then, his players have been less productive, and as a result, Burgundy's been able to overtake Tri-Hard! and make this a nightmare for Sitch!

Thank you to both Pierre LeBrun and Pierre McGuire for their colour commentary. Always a pleasure having these two providing their two cents.

As this week's theme is Resurrection, I would also like to report a few other items that turned up this week that had "resurrection-like" flavours. First, Burgundy, Sitch and Dick Burns were reunited once again (the first time since Toronto in January 2015); it was reported that they spent an evening at Sitch's residence, catching up on old times and watching a few games on the television.

"Those fucking plain-ass Miss Vickie's chips, tough," said Burgundy. "Don't know why Sitch loves them so damn much. I bet all he has in the freezer is vanilla ice cream."

"Damn straight," said Sitch.

The second is the return of Dick Burns's player status. Ladies, beware.

The third, and perhaps most important, is the resurrection of disco music. I have to give credit to Burgundy who showed this to me over the weekend. Ladies and gentlemen, if you thought you knew everything about disco, I'm here to tell you that you are absolutely wrong. Here is where disco is headed, for your listening and viewing pleasure:

From this video, I can think of a few things that will prove true in the very near future:

1. The sale of blue suits will tank. (Sitch, take note as this may be important to your new business venture.)
2. That bartender will never find another job bartending.
3. The two main ladies in the video have ruined their resumés (and their lives).
4. "Come on children" will become the worst pick-up line, ever.
5. Scratch that. "I'm with Nickelback" will be the worst pick-up line, ever.

Until next time, gentlemen and lady,

 - Morpheus Randy