WK16 - The Flavour of the Week Is...

Please your man.

GRAPEFRUIT. Hands fucking down. No further questions.

WK16 was a week to remember; full of fruitful fun, sweet like sugar-coated citrus.

"That pink is really, really turning me on," said Burgundy, licking his lips and stroking his crotch.

Let's keep this PG for now, Burgundy. This is, after all, just a weekly stats report. There will be plenty of opportunity to get sticky and stanky in the coming posts. With all select-GM's meeting in Toronto this past weekend, stories are bound to unravel here on Randy's blog. I'm just confirming some final sources before I hit the print on some of these posts. So, be patient and contain yourself.

"... FINE!" said Burgundy.

Here are the visuals, courtesy of the stats machine:

Sitch was this week's top bread earner, collecting 173.15 fantasy points. This is the sixth time in sixteen weeks that he's been the top bread earner. Kudos, Sitch.

"It's the way I want it," said Sitch. "I want it that way."

Photo credit: Tree Bone

"What's going on? Did I miss something?" said Dick Burns.

You missed out a bit, my dear Dick Burns. But don't worry; future posts will clarify these references. For now, we'll stay with the statistics. Sitch can thank Kris Letang, a question mark earlier in the week when he was out with a UBI, who had 7 A last week (he had 5 A in one game). Patrick Sharp also had a strong week, bringing home 1 G and 5 A over that span.

Meanwhile, African Lion Safari continues to win with Ovechkin, who brought home 4 G and 1 A last week.

There were no changes in the standings during WK16.

"It feels weird not being in second," commented Safari.

Sitch leads in PPGP with 3.71 (up from 3.69), but Dick Burns was this week's biggest mover and now sports a 3.43 (up from 3.38). Dick Burns can thank his goalies for a stellar week; Carey Price, Braden Holtby and Semyon Varlamov combined for four shutouts and five wins. Price alone brought in 43.00 points for Dick Burns this week. That kind of performance had all the other select-GM's drooling. Can you say jealous?

When asked for a response, Dick Burns simply replied, "Tap... MY ass."

Building off the last point, we can see that Dick Burns's rainbow now sports some new greens in the goalie statistics. With the stellar performances from his tenders, he now has brought his goalie PPGP within striking distance of Sitch. Quite impressive, to say the least.

"It's almost as if he has a concealed weapon," weighed in Tree Bone. "Which wouldn't surprise me."

"You would be correct," said Dick Burns. "Don't let the crotch length fool you..."

Wise words, Dick.