Next Question with Ron Burgundy

The fifth instalment of this year's Next Question involves last year's "should have been" fifth place finisher, Ron Burgundy. I say "should have been" because in my opinion Burgundy had the worst luck last year inside Randy's V. He should have been allotted the first overall selection for Tri-Hard!, but that was snatched away by Dick Burns, who decided to fall in love instead of paying attention to the V.

"It was win-win," said Dick Burns.

"Go ahead. Ask me anything."

Good evening, Ron Burgundy.

And good evening to you, San Diego!

... What?

Oh wait, sorry. Good evening, Commissioner Randy. Sorry, I'm so used to saying "Good evening, San Diego!"

That's alright. I admire a man with a successful career like yourself. How are you?

I've been well, thank you. Always a bit of an adjustment going back to work in the New Year, but I'm managing. Us MPAs, we're the elites of society, so we need to lead by example when starting off the year. I'm hoping that the rest of the general public can keep up with my competitive work style.

Sounds impressive, Ronald. You've been having quite a successful year then, both on and off the ice?

Most definitely. As you mentioned in GM's Quarterly II, I have become an EoX with my successful employment(s) and fashion passion. The last six months have been particularly good to me, so it's been a success.

Please, share your successes.

Well, landing a job was sick. That was a 'Pleasure Town'-like sensation.

You mean, this kind of job?

If you haven't watched this movie, you haven't become my friend yet.

No! God no, Commissioner Randy! I mean a real job! A real, MPA-worthy job. During 2014, I had been applying to many (so fucking many) jobs and I was able to get two offers. After debating it I decided to go with contract work. Money's coming in, my consumer discretionary spending is up and my awesome-ness is going through the roof!

I heard you had to take up a little business and accounting knowledge. Similar to Sitch, no?

Jeah, I had to pick up a little of that stuff. "Reconcile this... debit/credit that, break-even analysis, costing, forecasting..." Nothing an MPA can't handle! Sorry Sitch, but it looks like I can do your job, with a fraction of the training! Jeah!

Sounds a bit harsh, Burgundy.

This is Tri-Hard!, Commissioner Randy. No friends in this League. (looks down, wipes off a smudge mark on dress shoe)

I must say, Burgundy, your shoes are looking fantastic.

Thank you! I'm upping my game, Commissioner Randy. It's all things classy for Ronald Burgundy. I'm a gentlemen for all seasons, so I take my fashion quite seriously. I've added the use of shoe trees to my repertoire this year; it's been a clutch addition.

The results speak for themselves. So tell me: how are you liking Tri-Hard! so far?

I gotta tell you, at the beginning of the season I was wrecked. Spending the first month and a bit at the bottom of Tri-Hard! is something I wouldn't wish upon any select-GM. Other than my Crosbone, all my roster players seemed to have a tough time turning on their A-game. But with a few roster moves and patience, I've been able to weather the storm. Tri-Hard! has been challenging, like all other previous seasons, but I'm satisfied with the progress.

You're currently in second. Think you can climb to the top?

It's possible, but again, challenging. That fucking Sitch; can't believe he's leading the League again. Where the fuck is the ebb and flow for him, eh?! His production rate has been off the charts and he's getting balanced scoring from all areas. The climb to the top is steep, but with my Crosbone and company, I think dethroning that meat head is possible. I am, after all, used to working hard.

#WerkBitch

Nice form, Burgundy. Sitch would be jealous. So, what's in store for Ron Burgundy going forward, Tri-Hard! and otherwise?

I can confirm that the select-GM's will in fact be meeting in Toronto at the end of January. The gathering was spawned by Safari making a trip back to the homeland, so all select-GM's thought it would be a good time to gather for some catch (phrase) up. Aside from that, I'll be getting some vacation time with my new employment, so that's something else I could consider in the coming months. Who knows? The sky is the limit for Ronald Burgundy?

I think you mean "!"

Oh yes. Yes that's what I meant.

Thank you for your time, Burgundy.

Good day to you. (looks down at shoes, smiles and walks off)