WK15 - Hey Now, You're an All-Star

Oh, 1999... where have the good times gone?

WK15 marked the NHL All-Star break, so this week's statistics report won't include the usual Super-Saturday point accumulations. But don't worry; there's much to report outside the world of statistics; I feel that I've been too focused on stats lately anyway so this will be a good change of pace.

That being said, let's get the stats out of the way first. Here are the visuals, courtesy of the stats machine:

Sitch still leads Tri-Hard!, but this week's top bread earner is Tree Bone, banking 88.00 fantasy points.

"Yes!" said Tree Bone. "Or to quote Burgs, 'Jeah!'"

"Don't! Don't use my word!" cried Burgundy.

It is Tree Bone's first time being the top point-getter since WK1. She can thank Claude Giroux and Logan Couture; both picked up a pair of goals this week.

There weren't any changes in the rankings this week. Sitch has now extended his streak at number one to six weeks, with Burgundy still on his tail.

"Tail? Don't you mean 'TAE-L'?" smirked Burgundy.

"GFY," said Sitch.

The League average PPGP remained the same at 3.36, but I'm happy to report that Tree Bone was this week's most improved PPGP performer; she was able to add 0.06 PPGP this week, bringing her statistic to 3.14 (previously 3.07).

"Jeah! Jeah! Jeah!" cheered Tree Bone, mocking the increasingly furious Burgundy.

She was the only select-GM to increase her PPGP over the week. All other select-GM's saw their PPGP decrease anywhere between -0.01 to -0.03.

There weren't any big changes in the rainbow, but Sitch's goal production seems to be dipping; his shot % has decreased and is now second worst in the League.

"I don't care about that statistic," said Sitch. "FYI when I draft players, shots on goal is one of my top filters. I want more pucks to the net. More pucks, more goals, more rebounds. What wins championships? Shot % or goals? 'Nuf said, BRAH!"

Thanks for the insight, Sitch. Anyway, aside from the weekly statistics, there was a little movement in the League last week; most notably, the drop of Phil Kessel by Burgundy. Kessel, ranked 15th by Yahoo! prior to the draft, was picked 22nd overall (Round 5) in Tri-Hard! by Burgundy. It's a big drop, especially if you ask Pierre McGuire.

Adds McGuire: Oh, what a move it was! It shook me like a Double Dion! The Leafs have really struggled as of late, now finding themselves out of the playoff picture. Kessel hasn't been himself during this bad stretch, bringing in a measly 1.80 fantasy points over the last 14 days. Is he the $8 million dollar player the Leafs were hoping he would be? What a monster mistake!

... Wow.

"I had to let him go," said Burgundy, in a press conference held earlier this week. "He's been such a burden on me, giving my moustache grey hairs. If he turns it around, well, good for him. But as of right now I'm looking to chase for top spot in Tri-Hard!, and I don't think he will be part of my effort."

Sitch, known for picking up discarded trash, contemplated the pick up but decided against it.

"I just hate the Leafs," said Sitch. "Logically, I believe Kessel will rebound, based on the ebbs and flows ---"

"FUCK why is everyone stealing my lines?!" cried Burgundy.

"I guess our PromptApp is faster than yours," snickered Dick Burns.

Wise words, Dick.