Next Question with Azn Sitch

The second instalment of NQ revolves around two-time Randy League Champion Azn Sitch. In past, the order of NQ publishings have been in the reverse order of where select-GMs placed in the previous year, but I don't feel like ending NQs at GoodLyfe, so this year I will start with Sitch.

"Waz wrong wit GoodLyfe?!" yelled Sitch from the showers, as he prepares himself for the NQ.

Sitch, towel yourself off and, for the sake of my health, please look presentable when you come out of the showers.

"I'm good to go," said Sitch.

The reigning Champion, again. How does that sound?

Oh, Commissioner Randy, that sounds good brah! So good! So good! (slaps hand against pectoral-flexed chest)

The flexing is really not necessary, Sitch. You don't need to do that here.

Do what? (flexes again)

... Never mind. So, how are you liking the League so far?

I fuckin' love the League, Commissioner Randy. My fave as always! I just love the mental focus the Randy League demands. It's one thing to have to focus on the physical, but the mental is a whole other exercise. I've proven that I can compete with the best for two years running (extra cardio!) and I am out to prove that I can do it again!

Think you can get the hat-trick?

Oh, I believe I can. It's all about believing in yourself. Hey, look: I used to be nothing more than a weak yellow sponge with a belly full of rice. Now I'm running a successful Bitch-It's-Sitch! program, a fitness phenom and a crunch-enthusiast. The sky is the limit, brah!

Do you feel threatened by other select-GMs?

Threatened? No. But, I do take my competitors seriously. Never, EVER underestimate the competition. Just because you think you can lift that dumbbell don't mean you should half-ass it. That's a recipe for throwing out your back, bitch! Never cheat, ANY DAY! I did it once and it was awful!

Sitch, on his one and only cheat day.

So, aside from the Randy Leagues and your obsession with working out, what are the other colours of the Sitch rainbow?

Huh... other than working out? Damn Randy, I was going to say GTL dawg!

That's Mr. Fucking Randy.

Right, right. My apologies. OK, let me think about this for a sec. (cracks knuckles) I guess I could say that the other colours in my rainbow are still GTL.

... Explanation, please.

[G] - That means girl. Sitch has a special girl in his life now, and has for the last two years. Which is outside my norm as I usually have bitties stacked on me like 45lb weights, ya know?! (bro laugh)

Get to the point.

OK, OK. Well, she's a big part of my life, and I do what I can to make sure she sparkles. She's done so much for me in the last two years so I always want to be her best man.

That's nice. And the T, L?

[T] - That means think. People may make fun of my (lack of) intelligence and my rigidity, but I truly wish to evolve and transform as I progress in life. I may be a gym rat and have my strict routine, but people would be surprised to know that I do branch out and use my brain. I like thinking and I like using my noggin. The more versatile you are, the more prepared you will be, and that's how Sitch likes it! (Fonzie thumbs)

[L] - That means literature. I just learned that word! Ha! I like reading and it helps with my thinking. This body ain't all about brawn!

I see. Now Sitch, you were caught in a media circus earlier this month ---

Don't want to get into that, Commissioner Randy --- 

--- A restraining order was filed against ---

Don't want to talk about it!

Sitch, please. Walk the readers through what happened.

*Sigh* Not much to say, OK? For the longest time, I was indirectly involved with a particular media outlet.

Perry Fire Media.

... No comment. Anyway, every PR/media event I do should conclude and expire. But, in the case of this one particular incident, this media outlet wanted continued media coverage of me and my rights. I wasn't a big fan of their services so I declined.

But the story doesn't end there.

No. See, there was a partnership between me and the media outlet before my fame in the Randy Leagues. Getting my fitness career and name out there proved to be difficult, so I needed some PR help. I used the media outlet on and off to jump start my career. Then once I got going in the Randy Leagues, I didn't need them anymore so I left.

Why was a restraining order placed then?

The media outlet kept harassing me, again and again, to reconnect. It got to the point where I was getting unprofessional texts and it was affecting my life. So it was in my best interest to file the restraining order. That's it.

Have you heard from them since?

No.

Hm. Well, I think we can leave it there. Thanks for opening up on the incident.

It was tough to do, but you are welcome.

Just one last question, Sitch.

Go ahead.

"Hey, wanna fuck?"

I HATE YOU, COMMISSIONER RANDY!