Welcome, Friends.

Welcome, dear gentlemen and lady. The corridors of a new Randy League have opened again. Thank you for renewing your prestigious membership in this glorious, invite-only League. Thank you for making this League as valuable as it has ever been.

I apologize for leaving the previous site (Randy's V) somewhat unfinished. It is ultimately what cost me yet another Pulitzer Prize (Mr. Fucking Randy was trying for a hattie). I strive for excellence in all areas of my life, but last year threw me for a curveball and I was never able to wrap up Randy's V the way I liked. It is a mistake I hope to thwart; I shall attempt this by making the new corridors of this League unmatched.

With that said, welcome to Randy's Tri-Hard!, the third official season of the Randy Leagues. I am thrilled, chilled and ready to kill. How about you?

"Oh, I most definitely am. R.O.A.R. (Right On Admiral Randy)!" said a silver-backed, well focused Safari.

"... Sorry what was the question? I didn't hear it as I was late," said Dick Burns.

The site is still under construction; my babes are currently programming like mad to get it on course, but I also demand that they attend to my masculine region; suffice to say, they have their hands - and gully areas - gorged.

The draft will be underway tomorrow, 6:45PM EST. I can hardly wait. Please arrive 10 - 15 minutes prior to the draft.

As Commissioner, I can confirm that Keepers have been finalized. They are:

African Lion Safari keeps OVECHKIN

Azn Sitch keeps STAMKOS

Dick Burns keeps TOEWS

Tree Bone keeps PERRY

Ron Burgundy keeps CROSBY

"JEAHHHHHH! Crosbone!!!" whacked off Burgundy, flashing the signature Burgundy brain.

Woah Burgs; didn't even wait till the official start to the season to bust out the Bertha. Anyways, see you all tomorrow. Hopefully you've all done your draft homework. Dick will kick us off with the first pick.

"Hey guys! What's up?!... Guys feel like doing something tomorrow night?" asked Tree Bone.

We're... we're drafting. Tomorrow. 6:45PM EST. 

"OH RIGHT!" said Tree Bone.

Be there. Be square. Be prepared.

Cordially,

- the Fucking Randy